NOT reasons I believe in God

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Dear Richard and everyone else, this week I decided to do a NOT list. Here are 20 of my NOT reasons I believe in God:

1. I would have been cast out of my village as a child if I didn’t.
2. My parents took me to church every Sunday as a child and crammed it down my throat.
3. I went to ‘Jesus Camp’.
4. I had to come up with some way to explain the universe and I wasn’t buying evolution.
5. I wanted my life to get easier.
6. I have a below average I.Q.
7. It never occurred to me that there might not be a God.
8. All the guys at school in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes used to beat the crap out of me everyday after school until I prayed ‘the sinner’s prayer’.
9. I had no friends and the nice couple who came to the door promised me I’d have a lot of friends if I signed on.
10. I had an emotional experience.
11. It was the most obvious path to wealth, fame and good health.
12. They were giving stuff away.
13. I was scared of hell.
14. I saw one of those scary “Jesus is coming back” movies and I didn’t want my head cut off by the anti-christ or anyone working for the anti-christ or even a freak earthquake that occurred while my neck was strapped in a guillotine.
15. To get an autograph from Amy Grant, Petra, Michael W. Smith, Stephen Curtis Chapman, Carmen or John Jacobs and the Power Team.
16. I found Jan Crouch attractive.
17. I thought Jimmy Swaggart or any other T.V. evangelist made sense.
18. Protection from vampires.
19. I wanted to be part of the only sub-culture and religion in North America that people could freely mock, draw copious amounts of critical and sacrilegious cartoons about our god, or make huge amounts of money off of while betraying our essential values.
20. I wanted to be rude, obnoxious, a bad tipper, close minded or even narrow minded, hateful, fearful, greedy and/or deluded.

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About brianmpei

Stumbling towards what comes next.
This entry was posted in God, Life, Lists, Meaning, Rambling, Reflective. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to NOT reasons I believe in God

  1. Shelley says:

    21. i couldn’t make it as a real pop star but am good enough to be a Christian one
    22. i wanted to teach my family a lesson for screwing me over
    23. i couldn’t afford therapy
    24. i wanted my friends and family to give me money to go on trips but needed a valid reason other than “i wanna travel the world but can’t afford it”
    25. i wanted to trap a boy into marrying me and apparently if you date a Christian one that pretty much guarantees a ring

  2. 26. God takes away my hangovers each Sunday morning if I go to church
    27. Through the kindness of community church, God provides free coffee
    28. Because I feel He will save me from global warming
    29. Because I hope He will bless my report card in school
    30. Because I feel He will bless my iPod and never see it break, saving me the money on an Applecare Protection Plan.

  3. John Green says:

    …to get an autograph from Amy Graent: Brilliant.

  4. brianmpei says:

    Wow, John, thanks for stopping by and reading. I hope that means both eyes are good now. I’m dying to read your books but they look at me suspiciously at Indigo if I stand around the juvenile fiction section for very long and the librarian said it’s not ‘age appropriate’ for me, I’ll have to get my daughter to check it out for me…

  5. brianmpei says:

    Hey, and while I’m at it, everyone stop by Brotherhood 2.0 and check out the latest with the brother’s Green!

  6. Moxie Crimefighter says:

    What Dawkins video/ discussion are you referencing exactly? I am an atheist myself and happened upon your site while looking for material for a documentary about pop-culture heroes and judeo-christian beliefs. I am not looking to refer to your site, rather, I am just curious as to your source as all it says is ‘Dear Richard.’

  7. brianmpei says:

    Hi Moxie, wow, this goes back over a year ago. If I recall even close to correctly there was some stuff on the CBC with Dawkins and that led me to some video stuff on line. Sorry I can’t give you some specific info. I have trouble remembering what I had for lunch yesterday even though I’m pretty sure I’ve been eating.

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