Waiting For The World To Change

news_march280.jpg My list for the week. For those of you who are outside of the Christian sub-culture that I am a part of this won’t mean much. For those who are in this sub-culture with me or sometimes visit it, you might be able to relate.

Last night I visited with a couple who’ve been squeezed through the sausage maker we call Church. It got me thinking about all the ‘stuff’ I’ve been in or seen in my short career. Here is a list of everything I can think of from the past 20 years that I have participated in that was supposed to be the big thing that would lead to the really big thing that would change everything. (in no particular order – and yes, I love or have loved some of these things 🙂 )

1. The Restoration Movement (not a laxative despite the name)
2. Marched for Jesus (it worked for civil rights: shine, Jesus, shine)
3. Willow Creek (traded our church building for a campus! Woohoo!)
4. Wimber & The Vineyard (power evangelism, power healing = wonder twins power, activate!)
5. Alpha (talking about life and building relationships as evangelism, what a crazy idea)
6. Restoration of Prophets & Apostles (who need a surprisingly great deal of restoration it turns out…their biggest obstacle in this century seems to be less rocks and lions and more their own egos and zippers)
7. Inner Healing (like therapy only quicker and often cheaper)
8. Freedom In Christ (12 steps, no, 10, no, 7, 7 steps because despite going to church we all seem to still be screwed up)
9. Watchmen (ah, wait, God’s just given David the key for another meeting that explains why the last 10 haven’t led to the breakthrough we’d been promised, let’s gather!)
10. Purpose Driven (church, life, family, calendar, toilet paper, it’s all PD and we’ll pay for it)
11. Spiritual Mapping (um, I think you’re holding it upside down…)
12. Soaking (back in the old days it was called “laying down for a rest with some music on”)
13. Caught the Fire (TACF – so many misconceptions, so many exaggerations)
14. Cell church (now you 6 will bring 6 friends and then you multiply and multiply and multiply and ultimately consume all your time for making new friends, being with old friends or developing any deep or significant relationships. And don’t forget to turn in your zone report…)
15. Identificational Repentance (O.K., here it is: I’m sorry, deeply sorry, for everything that any white, protestant, German male has ever done to anyone at anytime in anyplace that has been hurtful, harmful or hateful in any way. Let’s meet here next week and I’ll do it again…)
16. Taken our Cities for God (but they keep wandering away, stupid cities)
17. Brownsvilled (after waiting in the line all day in the heat I’m repenting before I get a dose of that for eternity)
18. IHOP (not JUST for pancakes anymore!)
19. Youth Church (pepperoni pizza for communion, awesome!)
20. Fasted for Spiritual Breakthrough (the anorexic bride of Christ)
21. Made Intercessors a separate group from everyone else who prays in the church
(Clark Kent and Superman)
22. We’ve watched Transformation Videos (no, seriously, don’t go and check out any of these places or contact locals who don’t appear in the videos or people connected with their production and verify if they are, in fact, accurate or exaggeration free – Christians wouldn’t lie)
23. Global Day of Prayer (I guess I can handle an hour of prayer once a year…)

Some of these things are near and dear to me but you’ve got to be able to laugh. Some make me nauseous to think about and some slightly embarrassed that I was ever a part of. I’ve done things, creepy things, things I would never want my kids to do, in the pursuit of the ‘big thing’, the R word which I won’t use here. Please feel free to set me straight if you’ve found one or more of these to actually have ushered in the Big Thing, my desk is a mess and I could’ve completely missed the memo from Head Office.

“that’s why we’re waiting / waiting on the world to change / we keep on waiting /
waiting on the world to change”

Anything you can add to the list?

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About brianmpei

Stumbling towards what comes next.
This entry was posted in Church, Confession, God, Life, Lists, Meaning. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Waiting For The World To Change

  1. shelleyperry says:

    oh…you are bold (I shall interceed for protection for you).
    Here are my additions:

    24. Sinner’s Prayer (again and again just to make sure…gotta say it right and gotta say it at the front of the congregation)
    25.Conferences (3 per year to ensure a healthy charismatic emotional connetion to God)
    26. Schools of Ministry (because who needs academic learning when you have Jesus?)
    27. Worship nights –some ending in the banging of drums, marching, wailing (which always freaked the heck out of me…), yelling, groaning, etc.

  2. brianmpei says:

    #26 – good one! that’s definitely been a big one ‘school of ….’ fill in the blank.
    #24 – sinner’s prayer that we’d usually have the whole congregation pray along with just so we covered everyone and didn’t make any sinners among us feel awkward. nice.
    #25 – conferences. Definitely a trend that seems to be making a new comeback! good call.

    Ah! And you’ve reminded me of #28. Short Term Missions Trip – all the sight seeing and an opportunity to share Jesus when we’re done!

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