Top 5 Things I Still Can’t Believe I Did

got-a-question.jpg 1. During a period of insanity the Elusive and I were living in Bismarck, North Dakota. We kept our education going and the student loan people at bay by taking classes at Dakota Bible College. DBC was 6 hours away from where we lived and it was in South Dakota. We would leave around Midnight every Monday night and get to Huron, South Dakota in time for the first class on Tuesday. We went to class all day, that night and again the next morning. Then we jumped in the Trusty Toyota Tercel and headed back to Bismarck to lead a Wednesday night family meeting. In the end, the school closed it’s doors for good but not before offering us a diploma, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, for ‘life experience’.

2. Like #1 above and linked to it. We left North Dakota during Christmas holidays and drove back to Joplin, Missouri to go back to school there. We were so desperate to go, feeling like anywhere was a better place to be, that we left in a blizzard. I drove a U-Haul truck with the Elusive following me in the Triple T. Which was white. We were flying down the interstate that cuts across North Dakota west to east and she could just barely see my tail lights 3 feet in front of the car and I couldn’t see the road more than 3 feet ahead. We had the radio tuned to local weather and listened as they announced that the highway we were driving on was considered impassable and had been closed. It was a very existential moment. Eventually we got to the turn off to the highway that ran north to south and into South Dakota. The second we crossed into S.D. it was like a switch was thrown and the snow, wind and terror stopped. Years later I flashed back to that moment while watching “The Truman Show”. We survived but my favourite plant froze to death in the back of the U-Haul.

3. During Bible College I lived in the Redstone Apartments with my new wife. The cupboards were sprayed, to little effect, for cockroaches every month, early on Saturday mornings. Outside our window, down on an abandoned couch in the little courtyard surrounded by 3 buildings and open to the street on one side, we got to hear a couple mystery locals have loud sex. Drug deals were going on all around the place and a guy I worked with woke up one morning next door to us after being slipped a mickey and having his wallet and all valuables boosted by the couple he was partying with the night before. Good friends lived next door but I still can’t believe it never occurred to me that my wife might not like our little place.

4. During my drug delivery days I went ahead and made a delivery to a very old man who greeted me completely naked except for work boots and a fedora that he used to cover his genitals. He stood on his porch waving me to ‘come on over’ with one had while he kept his hat in place with the other and I had to walk a long 2X4 (I was lighter back then) that spanned a 10 foot deep pit (this is all true) that stretched from the driveway to his porch. He thankfully kept the hat in place the whole time I was dropping off his prescription and getting his signature. I can only guess that I’d come during ‘wash day’.

5. I sold life insurance to my friends.


About brianmpei

Stumbling towards what comes next.
This entry was posted in Confession, Life, Lists, Rambling. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Top 5 Things I Still Can’t Believe I Did

  1. shelleyperry says:

    #4 isn’t really your fault…you couldn’t have known you’d be greeted by a naked old man so I don’t know if it counts under the “things you can’t believe you actually did” category

  2. brianmpei says:

    indeed, what I can’t believe I did was walk across a 2X4 bridge that spanned a pit in order to reach a naked old man.

  3. BrianD says:

    One can only hope the prescription you were dropping off was for some sort anti-psychosis medication.

  4. Nancy says:

    Could it have been that he was on a fixed income? He might have had to choose…med’s or clothes?

  5. brianmpei says:

    well, the truth is I just had to get his punch card to punch some holes in and the government covered the meds so I’m thinking it was a lifestyle choice…not sure about that pit though…

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