I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions but since I’m wrapping this year up I thought it would be a good way to end by looking ahead. So, in a very particular order of importance, from least to greatest, here they are:
1. I will not leave the knife next to the inhuman serial killer’s body while I go to phone the police, no matter how dead I think he is.
2. I will not eat my own weight in food in any one sitting, no matter how good the food looks or smells.
3. I will run every day, as required, to save a small child from being hit by a snow plow or to retrieve our winning lottery ticket before it’s carried away by high winds. Otherwise, not so much.
4. I will not raise my hand and volunteer to help a tight rope walker, knife thrower or tazer demonstration no matter how good a sermon illustration it might make.
5. I will not inhale when someone reaches towards my nose with something, even if or especially if it is only their finger and says, “Smell this…”.
6. I will not make a sex tape no matter who asks.
7. I will avoid
cats most animals with my new snowblower.
8. I will look better at the end of 2008 than I do at the start – and by ‘better’ I mean ‘wiser’ or at least ‘older’ but if not ‘older’ than at least ‘different’ and by ‘different’ I mean I’ll at least have a haircut.
9. I will not tell even one joke at the expense of the Danish. And by Danish I mean the nationality not the pastry. The pastry is an unending supply of humour so that would be mad.
10. I will not stop writing. It’s addictive. No matter how depressed I get every time I walk into the big box bookstore and see the mountains and mountains of books full of words that most people will never read. I will write.
After some consideration, negotiation and deliberation…I’ve decided that I’ll keep the doors open here at Cracked Virtue. It’s going to change but it will still be here. My posts will drop back to once a week and I’ll overhaul the site, give it a facelift of sorts. I had every intention of stopping all together but since I’m not getting published soon and the connections made here mean a lot to me, with your help and your interest we’ll keep this going.