My Attainable New Year’s Resolutions

cracked-as-virtue-can-get.jpg I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions but since I’m wrapping this year up I thought it would be a good way to end by looking ahead. So, in a very particular order of importance, from least to greatest, here they are:

1. I will not leave the knife next to the inhuman serial killer’s body while I go to phone the police, no matter how dead I think he is.

2. I will not eat my own weight in food in any one sitting, no matter how good the food looks or smells.

3. I will run every day, as required, to save a small child from being hit by a snow plow or to retrieve our winning lottery ticket before it’s carried away by high winds. Otherwise, not so much.

4. I will not raise my hand and volunteer to help a tight rope walker, knife thrower or tazer demonstration no matter how good a sermon illustration it might make.

5. I will not inhale when someone reaches towards my nose with something, even if or especially if it is only their finger and says, “Smell this…”.

6. I will not make a sex tape no matter who asks.

7. I will avoid cats most animals with my new snowblower.

8. I will look better at the end of 2008 than I do at the start – and by ‘better’ I mean ‘wiser’ or at least ‘older’ but if not ‘older’ than at least ‘different’ and by ‘different’ I mean I’ll at least have a haircut.

9. I will not tell even one joke at the expense of the Danish. And by Danish I mean the nationality not the pastry. The pastry is an unending supply of humour so that would be mad.

10. I will not stop writing. It’s addictive. No matter how depressed I get every time I walk into the big box bookstore and see the mountains and mountains of books full of words that most people will never read. I will write.

After some consideration, negotiation and deliberation…I’ve decided that I’ll keep the doors open here at Cracked Virtue. It’s going to change but it will still be here. My posts will drop back to once a week and I’ll overhaul the site, give it a facelift of sorts. I had every intention of stopping all together but since I’m not getting published soon and the connections made here mean a lot to me, with your help and your interest we’ll keep this going.


About brianmpei

Stumbling towards what comes next.
This entry was posted in blogging, Life, Lists, Meaning, resolutions. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to My Attainable New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Lurker says:

    I am glad. Thank you for considering the sticking around part. A new format, a new look, same humour, insight and personality. A happy balance in my opinion. I look forward to it.

  2. brianmpei says:

    Thanks Lurker, glad you’re glad and that you’re here.

  3. barb says:

    Brian, love the resolutions. It makes me happy to know that you will keep on writing. I look forward to it.

  4. Brad says:

    Prayer answered! 🙂

  5. BrianD says:

    Yessssssssssssss…….. That is good news. The list is great, but I really like the fact that you will be continuing. That sure is going to be easier for you than the announcement I thought you were going to make (tongue in cheek).

  6. TJ says:

    One of the most delightful things about a garden is the anticipation it provides.

    W. E. Johns

    Happy New Year to the gardener, his muse, and their seedlings.

    Just over 6 hours left folks….step out of the shadows, belly up to the keyboard, a little note, a little word, a small harvest of feedback…t’would be nice….
    Blessings all…

  7. Nancy says:

    One of the first things, after a.m. coffee I did, was check out your blog. I’ve laughed, cried, my spirits were often lifted, and I enjoyed the words of wisdom I usually found tucked away in your stories. You have finished off 2007 on a good note.

    Looking forward to your first post in 2008.

  8. brianmpei says:

    Thanks Brad, BrianD, TJ (you old provoker you) and of course thanks to the Mother of Cracked Virtue.

    Happy New Year!

  9. sweetlybroken says:

    What an amazing year of peeling back the wrapping, grabbing glimpses of the gift inside and in the discovery of the friend behind the occupation.

    Thanks for giving us all an opportunity to see “what’s really going on inside”, looking forward to the reveal after the redesign.

    Blessings all over you, Elusive, your kiddlings and your critter.

  10. brianmpei says:

    Thanks Sweetly, same to you and your pet Steve.

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