Here’s a re-post of a post from a couple years ago. I’m posting it while I’m running as fast as I can to keep up with my life at the moment. I sort of knew it was going to be like this coming back from holidays but circumstances are snowballing quickly and turning the approach of fall into something exciting and overwhelming all at once. And I wouldn’t want it any other way!
In the midst of all this I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic in between projects. Honestly it all started a few weeks ago when I suddenly realized (and I wish this was a joke) how old I was. The elusive Donna just turned my age and will stay that way for a few more months until I crank it up to 46. I was sure I was turning 45 this year. 46. I don’t know why but that seems a whole lot older to me than 45.
We’re also hitting our 25th anniversary this month and we were reminiscing about a 25th anniversary party my brother organized for my parents that I managed to get some credit for. My parents seemed so old at that party and now here I am, it’s not possible that I’m as old as I thought they were then. I don’t feel older and my wife often assures me that I don’t act more mature. Weird.
So I was thinking about the past and thought I’d toss this up and thank you for stopping by…
First Five Crushes (Revisited)
Here’s the list. It follows a chronological order and I’m not giving away any last names in order to protect the innocent. I know it must shock many of you that there would have ever been any unrequited love in my life. Well, here’s the first five:
1. Debbie. My babysitter. I knew it was love when she painted her Barbie Car black and gave it me to be my Batmobile. I was 3. My memories of this relationship are pieced together from stories my mom would tell and the photographic evidence of me on the jet black Barbie car. (Think Paul Bunyan on a Ford Fairlane.) Unrequited love: the theme of my romantic adventures most of my life.
2. Ann. The little red-haired girl. She gave me a ring as a sign we were going steady. On the way home from school I threw it down a storm drain to show my friends how cool I was. I still feel bad about that. I was 6. Years later she was in my Poli-Sci class my first year of Uni. She sat right behind me and had no idea who I was. Thought about stalking her on Facebook recently. Resisted. Still, I think of the scene in the Woody Allen movie where the kids in the memory of his grade school class stand up as children and describe where they are now. Sometimes it’s an irresistible image to me. A big part of me would like to write that book about my generation that’s fallen in the gap.
3. Laura. On the way by her desk I dropped a note that read, “Do you like me: ___yes, ___no please check one.” She laughed out loud at me and at recess she told her friends who all laughed at me. I was in grade 4 and swore off girls for 2 whole weeks after this. Still traumatized by this experience. Whenever I see a group of women or girls laughing together I immediately assume they’ve heard about this note.
4. Missy. She was the new girl at school so I thought I might have a chance. Plus she had long blonde hair, a cute nose and was painfully pretty. She would beat me up during recess and I figured any contact with a girl was good contact. Other boys started paying more attention to her and she stopped punching my arm. I was in grade 5 and it hurt more when the bruise finally faded. I’m told this memory is not so true and that I wasn’t beat up. I’ll maintain that I felt beat up and liked it.
5. Dianne. An “I don’t like you like that” friend who I felt pretty sure I would eventually sway with my relentless, meandering phone calls and desperate puppy dog pursuit. Eventually she moved to Chicago with her family, which I try not to take personally any more. No, she never got a restraining order. Grade 6 through grade 9 (However, I’ll confess to infidelity to that crush during my grades 7-9 years). The most painful part of this crush is that I really think we would’ve been friends our whole lives if I hadn’t become an extreme and unpleasant religious geek for a brief period of my life post high school. Thankfully, Jesus saved me from that.
6. Shellie. A great friend (written about elsewhere) and ultimately worth more to me as a great friend than the ultimately pulverized relationship that would have resulted from attempts to pursue her romantically. That and her boyfriend who would’ve kicked my butt.
If this was worth the read how about leaving the names of your first 2 crushes below…