The back door to WordPress allows me to see how people get here from wherever their there is. The other day it told me that someone landed at Cracked Virtue by googling, “Brian Metzger died”. Sigh. I want to think that that’s not a threat or a warning or a premonition. I want to.
I suppose that it means that somewhere out there one of my other selves has passed away. Somewhere Brian Metzger, and we are many, has died. Frankly it’s a little disconcerting. We had neighbours once who had a little boy named Joshua and he was the same age as our son Joshua. They played together while we lived next door but during that whole time he would only call our Josh by his first AND last name. Always. At all times. Because he knew he was Joshua and there couldn’t be two of him. Seeing that google search made me realize how unique I consider my life to be. “There can be only one” was the tag line for the movie Highlander and kind of how I feel about me.
I’ve googled myself. There. I’ve admitted it. I’ve also facebooked myself. And dear God, there are a lot of me. Some of me are really smart, there’s an astrophysicist out there, an entrepreneur, an animator, a couple doctors and a financier. There are some tall me’s, short me’s, skinny me’s (thank God that’s covered!), some bald me’s, some hairy me’s, a lot of white me’s but at least one black me (hopefully realizing my dream of being a black Baptist preacher somewhere), there are some younger me’s and a few older me’s. (and hopefully a me that knows for sure whether or not that apostrophe belongs there.)
But recently we became one less and it’s got me thinking.
There’s a whole lot I want to do that I haven’t done yet. There’s a ton of stuff that I feel really strongly about that I just don’t give time to or feel like I have time for. And that’s bugging me. I suppose I can take some solace in that whatever I don’t get done here there are bunch of other Brian’s that will cover it for me. And I am going to write a book.
But today I’m a little sad because Brian Metzger died.